he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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