4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
