This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
