I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
