i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
