My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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