Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
