This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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