I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
