Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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