we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
