i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wish my penis had a tongue
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
