You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
