I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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