Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
