was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
two words...techno handjob
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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