: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
