listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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