My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
