did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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