why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
