The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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