i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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