didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize