well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
