Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
