paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
