Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
