Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
