I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
