I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
