Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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