im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize