HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
