When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
All the doctor said was why
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
