I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
