okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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