I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
