Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
