4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
