Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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