franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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