Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
no, he came in my armpit
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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