I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
