ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
