just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
