I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
