Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize