Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
