I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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