I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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