I think scott just propositioned me for sex
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
