i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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