So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
