Do you still have your period?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
