it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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