butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
