When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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