why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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