Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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