Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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