OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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