Where is the hickey?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
