dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Of course I have a pirate flag
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
