I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
